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Description= One-Liners (4):
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90% of all statistics are made up
A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.
Every time I've built character, I've regretted it.
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
A chicken is an egg's way of producing more eggs.
A day not wasted is a day wasted!
A diplomat thinks twice before saying nothing.
A friend: someone who likes you even after they know you.
A Smith & Wesson *ALWAYS* beats 4 Aces.
A waist is a terrible thing to mind.
According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist.
All I want is a warm bed, a kind word and unlimited power
Alone: In bad company.
Always remember no matter where you go, there you are.
Ambition is the last refuge of the failure.
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
Angels can fly because they take themselves so lightly.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, & complain. And most do.
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
As long as I can remember, I've had amnesia.
Bigamy : one wife too many. Monogamy : same thing.
Confusion not only reigns, it pours.
Constant change is here to stay.
Do steam rollers really roll steam?
Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?
Efficiency takes time! Frugality: who can afford it?
Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
Everyone is gifted. Some open the package sooner.
Forgive your enemies...but REMEMBER THEIR NAMES!
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional!
I feel like a fugitive from the law of averages.
I hate to repeat gossip, so I'll only say this once.
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0
If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right.
Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow?
Is it possible to be totally partial?
Is there another work for synonym?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
It said, "Insert disk #3," but only two will fit!
Justify my text?  I'm sorry but it has no excuse.
Logic:  The art of being wrong with confidence...
Maintenance-free:  When it breaks, it can't be fixed...
Microwave:  Signal from a friendly micro...
Multitasking:  Screwing up several things at once...
Never forget: 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
Nostalgia:  The good old days multiplied by a bad memory...
Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant
This message transmitted on 100% recycled electrons.
When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
Who is General Failure and why is he reading my disk?
Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms?  Are they afraid someone will clean them?
Why do they report power outages on TV?
Why is the word abbreviation so long?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?